Jeff Dunham Random Quotes

The larger, the funnier.
"SILENCE! I KILL YOU!" -Achmed the Dead Terrorist
"A...C...Phlegm..."-Achmed the Dead Terrorist
"I'm Gayman and I'm here to save the day! And I look FABULOUS!" -Peanut
"My mom used to say that when I get mad I should think, 'What would Jesus do?' So I tried to turn my wife into a fish. 'Begone, Satan! Hello, Shamoo!" Walter
"Same as every weekend. Watchin' Nascar and drinkin' beer!" -Bubba J
"You racist bastard!" -Achmed the Dead Terrorist
"Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back, I have a nasty plan, for Christmas in Iraq. I got through checkpoint A, but not thorough checkpoint B, that's when I got shot in the a** by the US military. Oh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs, mine blew up you see, where are all the virgins that Bin Ladin promised me...OH, jingle bombs, I think I got screwed, don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!" -Once again, Achmed the Dead Terrorist